Women dancing down the aisle — a big reason to celebrate

Shilpi Agarwal
3 min readFeb 24, 2023
Photo by AMISH THAKKAR on Unsplash

We all have enjoyed Kiara Advani’s dance moves in her recently viral wedding video — the way she was enjoying, grooving, showing the entire world how happy she was getting married to the person she loves, it all made our hearts sing too! But it should not be just that we should be happy about, we should celebrate the fact that “Brides can do all that and not be frowned upon”, more.

It wasn’t always like this

Have you seen your parent’s wedding videos or pictures? Do you have any memory of your mother even looking up from the floor, forget about dancing and grooving! Yes that was the reality of that time, and I am not talking about the 90s when I say that. I got married in the twenty first century and although I was not staring at the floor my entire wedding, I was told off by my father when I was grinning broadly in the wedding ceremony. Brides were expected to be shy, meek, a bit sad even for leaving their parents behind, because that represented that they were family oriented, easily controllable and, hence adjustable. Nobody wanted a flamboyant bride who could openly express her feelings, without giving a damn about “What will everyone think?”, expressing joy not tears at the aspect of leaving her family behind and starting a new life.

To tell you how inherent the fear of an high-spirited bride was, I give you this example. A few years ago I attended a wedding, where the bride came down the aisle dancing with her friends. As she reached the stage, some groomsmen teasing the bride took her seat beside the groom, and were asking her to do something in exchange for her seat. There was some chaos, and after a minute we all heard loud guffaws and saw the rebellious bride sitting in the lap of the groom instead of giving in the demands of the said groomsmen. It was all done playfully, but some senior members of the family didn’t took offense at it. There were several hushed comments after this, like how clever(tez) the bride was and how a bride is supposed to be a bit shy and docile.

When did it start to change

Like every change, this change wasn’t overnight too. One of the most biggest reasons behind women’s liberalization in the society is them getting more and more independent, and self-sufficient in terms of money. Most of the girls today are college graduates and earning, making them more confident and self-reliant in making their own decisions and also giving them the capacity to execute them. Making money is not only about money itself, it gives you the confidence to trust yourself and stand up for your beliefs, too.

With college and jobs, came living apart from the family — a very good chance to explore and find yourself. This helped women to get away from the influence of old family values and traditions, see the world, know different people and values, and differentiate right from wrong.

One of the reasons behind this freedom is the most superficial reasons of them all — the social media and the gimmicks of “What’s New!”, but nonetheless it worked for the better. It started with different varmala(exchanging of garlands)concepts, the photo booths, then came the brides posing with their bridesmaids donning their cool aviators and enviable swag, and eventually the brides dancing their way down the aisle, ensuring all the eyes and cameras are on them, not missing a beat.

The joyful times

Whatever were the reasons, we have the freedom now, to look where-ever we want to, to smile and laugh however we want to, and most importantly to enjoy and dance in our own wedding, without caring about how it “might” look to our in-laws, and what would everyone make of our character. And this is a big reason to celebrate, because in a way it also says that people are not that afraid of getting an expressive, outspoken, fun-loving bride anymore, that they don’t just want an agreeable person, but rather are comfortable with a confident person who doesn’t shy away from expressing themselves!

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Shilpi Agarwal

Writing helps me declutter my thoughts and see clearly. I write to learn!